Papers late - part the secone

The Boss gets in and starts the in store baking at about 0600 and we were just explaining about the lack of Oxford Times, when the van turns up.
"Ah" says she
""They’ll have to go out with the rounds, as someone will be bound to ring in and complain !"
"B" followed by the word "’Ollocks" thinks me and Jim
Sooooo
All rounds de-constructed and Ox Times inserted !!
It’s now a good 40 minutes late before starting out
Which means –
I now have one of my real pet hates
I can usually get round the first half by 0710.
I don’t see anyone but the Slovakian night porter at the hotel where I drop off and he is a nice, quiet and even tempered guy.
I now get snarled up in the early traffic, making me later and later.
When I get to the hotel, guests who are leaving early waiting for papers
The night porter not happy either – We exchange shrugs and try and placate angry guests – which again makes me later. And so on and so on.
I then get back to load the second set of rounds
Paper boys waiting and getting fractious.
I then start meeting householders who either say
"You’re not the usual paper person – It used to be Allison" –
I then have to explain that she hurt herself a year ago and I have been doing the round since last year – The unfortunate thing about this is that there are several hundred people on the round and I seem to meet different ones every time the papers are late.

Papers Late This Morning - part the first

We have two main deliveries of papers and one smaller delivery of local Oxford papers. These usually arrive between 0430 and 0445. When they don’t, the problems begin. Late papers are usually down to:-
Breakdowns (punctures etc)
Accidents (the van drivers are like mad ferrets)
Traffic jams (due to other mad ferrets hitting each other !!)
Drivers getting lost (being as how they start at 0200 they don’t tend to last long – either totally peed off by the unsociable hours or a combination of a, b, and c above)
Very rarely - late papers from the printers (usually due to things like "hold the front page" for Presidential elections etc)
Acts of God (fire, flood, snow, plagues of locusts etc. Mad ferret drivers being smitten by a vengeful God- that’s their excuse any way)
So there we are this AM – both the main suppliers turned up, but the Weekly Oxford Times had not . Me and Jim – the other poor sod who has to get up and do the papers decided to carry on and do up the rounds without the Oxford Times. (As up until recently this weekly had been delivered on a Thursday afternoon and not put up on the rounds till Friday). We have the rounds done by about 0600 for me to load me van and be off by 0610. The local hotel rings at 0600 for their order and this is usually the last on the van.

More Thoughts from a Van

My job is so mind bogglingly boring, that I am in danger of sinking back into the apathy that gripped me in the last couple of years. It stopped me blogging, stifled any creative processes, and made me feel increasingly sorry for myself.I get angry with Judith (she who must be obeyed) for no good reason, and get even more angry with myself for doing so. I get up, go and do what has to be done, come home. Walk the dogs, make Judith’s breakfast, then go to bed for a couple of hours. Get up have a small lunch then take dogs out again. Put "Flashy" into his crate for a lay down, and then take Judith out – as she needs to get out of the house and go for a ride somewhere. Usually we need some minor shopping, which I try to spread out over the week so that we are not using fuel for nothing. Come home, sit down, watch "the box" feed dogs, make evening meal. Watch the box, take dogs for evening walk, then go to bed at about 10pm. This is enlivened by my second job, curry delivery on an ad hoc basis, usually a couple of nights a week. I finish this between 2100 and 2300 and get a curry to bring home for my trouble. Although eating curry at 2315 is not recommended, when you have to be up at 0415 !! This alternates with Bowling. Some Thursday and Friday evenings, and some Tuesday afternoons I go indoor bowling for a couple of hours. Usually, Judith comes with me to watch. She gave up bowling this year.Other than that, all I do is worry about paying the bills. A life with little purpose or direction. We had hopes of becoming Caravan Club Site Wardens, and even went for an Assessment day at Lingfield. We were rejected ! A very low point in an already low year. Not a lot to look forward to, a seven day working week just to eat and pay some of the bills. Can’t afford to take a holiday, or even a Sunday off at the present.
So Jack is an extremely dull boy !!

Thoughts in a van

The job has become almost automatic over the last few months. This leaves my mind free wheeling on the mostly deserted roads. I try to write Mcgonagallesqe poetry in my head as I drive. I am presently fascinated by the different forms, scansion and rhyme. The only real trouble is that I forget it before I get home. The same with ideas for short stories, and the continuing struggle with the plot of "THE BOOK". I get these great ideas, and think that I can get it on to the word processor when I get home. Not a hope, gone and "Never called me mother", as the old saying goes. I am currently thinking of getting one of those little "memo" recorders, so I can, "hold that thought". It will probably prove cringeworthy, but worth a try
cheers
Mog

Deja Vu ??

In the immortal words of Derek Trotter, "It's Deja Vu, all over again "!! Most of the more intelligent hacks have taken the same view (vu?) as I did, regarding the much miss-used Jade Goody (or Jade Tweed as she is now). The twist is the other lady who has totted up the highest score ever on University Challenge. She is being villified for being "too clever" and a "middle class misfit" in this "Benefit claiming" society. Although given the multitude of forms in vast prolixity and profusion needed to claim anything, you would probably need a degree in economics (in triplicate) to claim anything. Unless, of course, you claim that you are "literacy(literally!!) challenged", or an immigrant, (illegal of otherwise)then the Civil (vastly uncivil in most cases) Servants will happily do it for you. This, of course gets me on to one of my pet rants. The great education debate. Not now - its to depressing
cheers
mog

News? papers

One of the more confusing things about newspapers, is just that. What seems to constitute "News"? We get copies of most daily papers and the difference in the headlines is amazing. For instance most of the "lower brow" tabloids seem to have completely gone overboard the last couple of weeks with the never ending story of "Jade" - a poor girl who became famous for no real reason other than her being a really "thick" candidate on a reality TV programme. Her ups and up until now, perceived downs became the stuff of tabloid legend. Her terminal illness is tragic, and I can see her determination to leave her children in a really sound financial position, even though it means her inevitable downward spiral will no doubt be the meat and drink for the titillation of the masses ! The collapse of the world's economy, failing banks, house repossessions, political scandals, bush fires in Oz etc., all come a long way behind Jade's Wedding, in excruciating detail - who attended, how much it cost, how much the "exclusive" is going to make - much "tub thumping" by the tabloids on how they are helping ?? to raise cash for her family - I really hope they let her die with dignity and not a media frenzy. The aftermath is going to rival the dreadful "schmaltz" following the death of Diana ! Is this news ? or is this a modern version of "bread and circuses" to distract the people from Afghanistan, Iraq, finance etc., I'm not sure, but I know its going to get worse (God save us from 13 yr old fathers and strictly come dancing footballers wives !!)
getting depressed again
mog

Jobs

I have become what's known as a "Printed Media Distribution Operative". This involves getting up at 0415 hrs, making my way to a local "Corner Shop", and then sorting out about 500 papers into "rounds". Everything from The Times to "Fakt"(a Polish daily) and one Daily Record (for the ex pat Scot !) There are some interesting demographics. The various areas have strong ties to various brand names. The exclusive "Village" area is strong on Times and Telelgraph and the Council - oops Housing Associaton - area Sun and Mirror. Middle class more Mail but some Express, Independant and the 3 completely random (in area) Observers. When sorted into the rounds I take about 7 or 8 in bags out in the van to the Junior printed media distribution operatives - or paper boys and girls, leaving them by the gates to their houses, then I deliver two large outlying rounds, including the Village and a lot of local farms and businesses. I finish between 0900 and 1000 during the week and 1000 to 1100 on Saturdays (collecting cash) and Sundays - later start. More later

Sheep

I was wondering about sheep the other day, so I spoke to a local farmer. I asked him why sheep
don't shrink in the rain. He said that they do if you tumbledry them !! That kept me amused for most of the morning. A picture in my mind of Shawn the sheep with his little legs sticking out going round and round in the tumbledrier going "Baaaaaaa"
Not sure why I've started to blog again but the urge came apon me so I've started a new one
cheers
Mog